Just a Weaver

Benjamin Malacia Franklin

My life is but a weaving,
between my Lord and me;
I cannot choose the colors,
He worketh steadily.

Oft times He weaveth sorrow
and I, in foolish pride,
forget He sees the upper,
and I the underside.

Not till the loom is silent
and the shuttles cease to fly,
will God unroll the canvas
and explain the reasons why

the dark threads are as needful
in the skillful weavers hand
as threads of gold and silver
in the pattern He has planned

He knows, He loves, He cares,
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives His very best to those
Who leave the choice with Him.

morning glory

the second half

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

only the first half of the pictures

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

joy

1. rubbing shoulders with a friend as you sit next to them
2. christmas trees all lit up with colored lights
3. having someone run their hands through your hair
4. snuggling with a sweet little girl
5. a delicious truffle

In The Deep

-Bird York

Thought you had
all the answers
to rest your heart upon.
But something happens,
don't see it coming, now
you can't stop yourself.
Now you're out there swimming...
In the deep.
In the deep.

Life keeps tumbling your heart in circles
till you... Let go.
Till you shed your pride, and you climb to heaven,
and you throw yourself off.
Now you're out there spinning...
In the deep.
In the deep.

And now you're out there spinning...
And now you're out there spinning...
In the deep.
In the deep.

In the silence,
all your secrets, will
raise their worried heads.
Well, you can pin yourself back together,
to who you thought you were.
Now you're out there livin'...
In the deep.
In the deep.

Now you're out there spinning...
Now you're out there swimming...
In the deep.
In the deep.

Spend christmas with me.

epic.

The Thinker

UGH

i HATE money.

bah

sooooo i haven't been blogging much, for those (three) of you that actually read this. i got a job. a temporary job anyway. i get to go stay the nights with this superold adorable lady who is afraid of falling and breaking something when she has to go to the bathroom in the night. therefore, thus far, i have made 504 dollars for blissful christmas shopping by sleeping at night, and making a scrambled egg in the morning. i rock.

and so does ms. evelene. she tells me stories.

october 16th

*sigh* so today is the day my grandmother died. i took the week off from seeing people and doing things that require social niceties. i always get quite irritable around this time of year. it comes around and unfailingly, i find myself thinking about how i should be better, how i want to make her proud. but i'm always just the same old kendra. alas.

i will get a puppy soon.

stereotypes

I am young, I don't smoke pot, or hate authority
I am christian, I don't hate gays
I am American, I don't hate immigrants or Muslims, and I don't eat at McDonalds. Ever.
I am white, I am not rich
I am an artist, I don't do drugs.
I am a virgin, I am not a prude.
I am Mormon, I am not married to anyone, let alone more than one person.

honestly...

things that make me intensely uncomfortable

1. talking about sex in conjunction with any of my siblings
2. collars...on people...in conjunction with my sibling
3. being forced to eat more when i am FULL
4. very very drunk people
5. keeping secrets from my parents
6. pretending i don't know something that i DO
7. feet, when very close to me
8. when people get overly nervous about something that i am also freaking out about *cough*heather*cough*
9. taking an immediate dislike to someone
10. mormon jokes

revised list of things that make me intensely uncomfortable

1. last night
   

wow

red rover...is rough.

much better today!

no worries, the sun is shining and it's crisp like autumn. i am being productive (aka doing laundry and making art) and i now know that i look kind of cute with a side pontyail! hahaha! plus, i have some pineapple upside-down cake to eat!! if you haven't already, you should read/look at the recipe below!!! and i am going to c'ville today for POSTSECRET tickets!! YAY!! and i will get so see awesome shawnda!! yay again!! all in all, good day so far.

angsty post, sorry

this blog is not cute and funny.

i feel honestly and truly, completely crazy today. i will look at something, like a line of poetry, and think it's genius, and then look at it again a few seconds later and wonder if it's the same line because it looks like it's made up of different words to me. i feel far away from what's going on around me, like right now, listening to the click click of the keys, not really sure what i'm saying. and the whole world is just a little bit skewed, like if i stand up too fast i might topple over, and my ponytail is on the side of my head to try and balance me out, but it's not working. and i feel angry and sad and my heart is racing for no reason other than that maybe my blood is rushing through me too fast. my stomach feels empty, even though i know it's not, and then all of a sudden i'm facing the wrong direction, not sure why, holding my head because i have a headache that wont go away no matter what i take, and i can't control my tears, and i don't even know why i'm crying. and my hair is too heavy for my head and i want to sleep but i know i wont be able, and it hurts to just lay there and lay there and not sleep. this feeling scares me. and my head hurts, and my heart hurts, and i don't think there's a medication that can fix this, can fix me.

i need a hug

ohmyfreakinggosh!

now those of you that know me, know that i do not cook, i bake. my newest discovery is this amazing recipe for Pineapple Upside-down Cake! it is heavenly. i asked my friend heather the food critic what she would rate it, and she unabashedly exclaimed 5 STARS!

therefore, INGREDIENTS:

1. 6 ounces unsalted butter (i used salted, it really doesn't matter)
   
2. 1 cup dark brown sugar
3. 1/2 fresh pineapple, peeled, halved lengthwise, cored and cut into 1/2-inch-thick slices
4. 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
5. 2 teaspoons baking powder
6. 1/2 cup granulated sugar
7. 1/2 teaspoon salt
8. 1 large egg
9. 1/2 cup milk

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Spray a 9-inch round cake pan (my pan is heart shaped tee hee) with unflavored cooking spray.
   
2. Melt 1 stick of the butter and set aside.
3. In a small saucepan, melt the remaining 4 tablespoons of butter with the brown sugar over medium heat, about 3 minutes. Spread the butter-and-sugar mixture in the bottom of the prepared cake pan. Distribute the pineapple slices evenly over the mixture and set the pan aside.
4. In a large bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, sugar and salt. In a medium bowl, beat together the egg, milk and the reserved melted butter. Stir the liquid ingredients into the dry ingredients until well combined; the batter will be thick. Using a rubber spatula, scoop the batter into the cake pan, spreading it until it reaches the sides of the pan.
5. Bake the cake until the top is golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, about 30 to 35 minutes.
6. Let the cake cool for 15 minutes. (i know it's hard, you'll understand when you smell the smell, but you should actually wait, it gives the sugarbutter time to cool and harden into the yummy crust) Place a serving plate over the cake pan and invert. Slowly lift off the pan and serve.

AND THE END RESULT:
completely irresistible. i'm not even kidding.