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Monday, June 27, 2011

A New List

100 things that make me more than an act

1. I am Mormon
2. I have gotten all dolled up in the middle of the night just to take a picture of myself
3. I have been so happy that I thought my chest would collapse
4. I have been the same amount of sad
5. I have fallen head over heels for a tiny orange kitten named Henry
6. I saved a dog's life, and she saved mine.
7. I have burst into tears in the middle of a massage
8. I have had a phone conversation that has lasted more than 8 hours
9. I have smoked an entire pack of cigarettes in the course of one night
10. I have successfully quit smoking cold turkey
11. I have been moved to tears by a piece of music
12. I have survived an abusive relationship
13. I have been so unhappy with myself that I have shaved off all my hair
14. I've managed to interrupt myself in the middle of a sentence
15. I've searched for God in all the wrong places
16. I have repeatedly trusted the wrong people
17. I have been loved and adored in spite of my shortcomings to the point where it disarmed me completely
18. I have had moments in which I thought I would die, and moments in which I think I did
19. I have been incredibly naive and realized that it is okay sometimes
20. I have thought I was in love with my high school teacher
21. I have ridden on the back of a motorcycle
22. I have been the lead in a crappy play
23. I have slept in my car
24. I have hated my parents and I am pretty sure they have hated me back
25. I have now come to love and appreciate my family
26. I've sung karaoke
27. I've physically harmed myself because I was incapable of any other emotional outlet at the time
28. I have pierced my own ears, nose and lip on different occasions
29. I buy cards before I have people to give them to
30. I often see someone else when I look in the mirror
31. I have made best friends with a girl with down's syndrome
32. I have felt unbearably lonely
33. I've found amazing things in thrift stores
34. I've sobbed during a broadway production of Rent
35. I jump in as many rain puddles as I possibly can
36. I have seen my bank balance hit $4.10
37. I have taped down my boobs
38. I have vowed to do one nice thing every day for someone else
39. I've designed my own tattoo
40. I am kind of obsessed with loving people
41. I have accepted that I am pretty good at art
42. I have been the person that people call for comfort (not advice)
43. I've dyed my hair pink
44. I've written so many letters because I am afraid to verbalize my emotions
45. I have been called "sunshine"
46. I have slept in a silly set of bear ears (and gained the nickname sugarbear) because I was afraid of earwigs
47. I have participated in embarrassing girl's camp rituals (see above)
48. I have read all 7 harry Potter books in the space of two weeks
49. I have been in an awful car accident and realized how very lucky I am
50. I have been whistled at while walking down the street
51. I've laid in the grass to watch the clouds pass
52. I have met very few people that i truly cannot stand
53. I have made a list already of what I want to name my children when I have them
54. I have had eye surgery twice in my life
55. I've discovered that my eyes turn turquoise when i cry and steely gray-green when i'm angry
56. I'm hardly ever angry anymore
57. I've watched an entire season of Gilmore Girls in one day
58. I was once asked for directions on the streets of manhattan twice in one day
59. I gave both people wrong directions
60. I have overmedicated to shut out life
61. I've laughed at wildly inappropriate moments
62. I've hugged complete strangers
63. I've danced in the rain
64. I've jumped out of a second story window
65. I know many people's darkest secrets
66. I am clumsy
67. Little things make me happy (licking stamps, dying my hair, the smell of brown rice cooking)
68. I pick up hitch hikers
69. watching the news gives me nightmares
70. I can almost always feel when it is about to rain.
71. My goal in life is to make other people happy
72. I crave affection. All the time.
73. Usually from people who are unable, uncomfortable, or unwilling to give it
74. I have countless bad habits, most of which I am working on, and some of which I have learned to embrace
75. I have slept most every night of my life with a security blanket
76. I have gone for days on end without feeling hungry
77. I drop my cell phone on the ground pretty much every time I get out of the car
78. I constantly second guess myself
79. I am an organ donor
80. I once bought an entire pound of pear flavored jelly-bellies and ate them all in one day
81. I have had recurring nightmares/dreams for as long as I can remember
82. I have actually fallen on the floor laughing
83. I have been called a little duck
84. I have named a pair of my shoes (Beatrice and Edgar)
85. I have forgotten many birthdays
86. I have rocked a crying baby to sleep
87. I often wonder what it feels like to be a woman not emotionally underdeveloped or broken
88. I have wanted to "be an artist when i grow up" from the time I could hold a crayon. I still do not know what that means
89. I draw portraits of people in the meantime
90. I've sewn myself a blanket
91. I've burned myself with a curling iron. on my leg
92. I've talked someone out of committing suicide
93. I've been talked out of committing suicide
94. I am codependent and needy most of the time
95. I have declared my undying love for multiple people
96. I snort when I laugh
97. I have stepped in cow crap
98. I have used shopping as catharsis
99. I have learned to crack cheesy smiles at people when I am frustrated to get people to smile at me
100. I am almost always hot.

Thursday, June 02, 2011