Why am I awake, you might ask? I have no good answer. Too much thinking to be done. Also too much caffeine consumed to stop an asthma attack a few hours ago, so no sleep in sight.
I am thinking about people tonight. There are a lot of people in the world who are worth loving. Every person you meet on the street has something about them that makes them lovable, no matter who they are, because they are a human being, a child of God. Isn't that just amazing to think about? I think so.
There are so many interactions we have day to day that it's easy for me to forget that as complex as I am, and as little as I know of myself, the person who made my sandwich at Panera Bread tonight is JUST as complex. The person who delivered my mail, the person who drove like a grandpa in front of me, the person who picked out flowers with me, the person who checked my pulse. Each is an entirely whole human beings with more to know than can possibly be known.
I am in awe.
I do not feel cool enough, or smart enough to be worthy of being your friend, that's why I have trouble talking to you. It sounds like a pretty thin excuse, but it's true. You are an amazing, beautiful, smart, collected woman, and even though I suck at showing it, you are loved, truly. I think about you often, hoping things are well, praying that you will somehow remember that this too shall pass.
I spent an evening with you tonight and am reminded of what a simply beautiful soul you have. I am envious, truly. I don't know if I've ever met a kinder, more generous person in my life. You work so hard to make the people around you feel loved and appreciated without ever thinking of yourself. YOU are loved and appreciated.