insomnia

so, i was having panic attacks, along with a myriad of other issues, only some of which can be considered psychological. long story short, i am trying out a medication that has cost me my ability to sleep. it's not that i'm not tired. oh no. but i slip into the familiar, comfortable cocoon that is my bed, with my hand-made quilt with its soft fringed edges, and i lie there. and i turn over and i lie there. and the bed that was a comfortable relief at twelve thirty becomes like a sentence. i start to feel trapped, and i am hot and no matter how i lie, i cannot stay comfortable, or cool, for more than three minutes. until i find myself thrashing and tangled in the covers, so frustrated with myself that i throw them off at five thirty in the morning and turn the lights back on. i can't sleep.

whats up with that? sleep and i are pals. good friends. we used to spend a lot of time together. no, seriously. if sleep were a person i would marry him. and now he's over there, ::points:: hangin' out with Absolute Zero, Perfection, and my unborn children. things we think exist, but may never quite be able to reach. i'm sorry that analogy (metaphor?) sucks, it's five thirty in the morning and i havent slept in three days.

in that light, i will make a new list. because it is what i do to ease the anxiety. so!

movies you should never see
1. Teeth- just trust me on this one. this movie will make you want to never watch a movie ever again. (it is the only movie in the history of movies that i have ever stopped watching because it was so awful.)
2. Georgia Rule- two words "beefy popcorn" because thats what entertained my friends and i while this movie was playing. the strange tasting popcorn that out of desperation and boredom we started THROWING AT EACH OTHER.
3. spiderman three- i don't care what kind of pheremones you are putting out, any scrawny guy with bad hair that walks around town doing pelvic thrusts at random girls thinking he is a bad a. cannot be an effective bad guy. i'm sorry. you lose.

thats all i got folks. that was actually really hard for me. i think my brain is broken.